[26 May 2004|05:56pm] I'm no longer updating my journal.. For me and my ramblings, catch my domain at http://www.phaux.org Anyways, ciao! post comment

[10 May 2004|02:58pm] I had a dream last night.. Jodi was gorgeous again. We met, and she took me back.. no questions asked.. and we were happy again though nothing was said and nothing was done. The only satisfaction was the mere presence and knowledge that an old comfort had been revived.. again.. I guess that's why they're dreams.. and not reality. I saw Jodi yesterday.. she wasn't amazingly gorgeous like she once was.. and we weren't together, that's for sure.. I just thought it was really weird. Weird enough to write about, at least. post comment

[09 May 2004|07:33pm] I want.. a Mazda RX-8.. more than I've ever wanted anything.. isn't that sad? post comment

[07 May 2004|09:08pm] people.. yea.. people are stupid.. sheesh.. just.. trust me on this one.. post comment

[01 May 2004|05:06pm] A- in physics 111.. wow!! 1 comment|post comment

[29 Apr 2004|08:52pm] Grades so far:: Chemistry 2: overall grade B grade from the final: B Calculus B : overall grade A grade from the final: A So all that's left is MAE 200 and Physics.. hmmm post comment

[27 Apr 2004|09:57pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | The whirl of my fan ] Sometimes I wonder why I bother.. hmmm.. My chemistry final was Monday. I'm pretty sure I failed it in flying colors. In all reality, my grades should float me through successfully so that I will be eternally finished with chemistry classes. Calculus exam Thursday, Physics exam Friday.. MAE 200 exam next Wednesday. Just 3 more days of college before I'm off for a month.. Ah, but I feel like such an idiot. A proverbial fool, of sorts. I was stood up today by a friend. I was left hanging, waiting to meet up with this person in the mall, sitting on the damn bench like an old person holding his wife's purse. For an hour I waited as the whole world passed by.. and yet when I get home, I have a message from this friend.. Who had to go get a dress.. apparently.. right as we were to meet up. And though this isn't the end of the world.. I think this is a keen example of why I don't try to keep close "friends".. as sorts.. my closest and dearest of friends right now would be Ashley. And though we plan some classes together, its only a matter of time till she finds some guy and I'm left again.. Its just the same story over and over again.. just different names and different situations.. different styles.. --Future situation: Ashley leaves me to spend time with random-guy. Won't even sit with me in classes anymore for fear of a jealous significant other on her heels. --Present situation: Trisha stands me up to "pick up a dress".. Magically disappears from online visibility and domestic friends don't know of her whereabouts.. mysteriously.. --Past situation: Veronica leaves me, for the love of coffee and Joe.. and Josh.. and Ben.. Far better people than I could ever hope to be, apparently.. She couldn't care less if she never talked to me again, I suspect.. But.. maybe i'm just a loser.. All signs point to yes.. And maybe I should do something to change that.. But.. sometimes.. all you can do is try.. try as in try to make new friends and do new things.. But.. this time, trying ended up screwing me over again.. and making me feel like crap once again. post comment

[18 Apr 2004|09:23am] Added two more pictures and moved my picture album to Yahoo so I could put more on there.. http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/posixphaux/album?.tok=phwRT.AB.ICC5v_G&.dir=/59b2&.src=ph is the new URL.. enjoy.. So I think I've gotten over things.. I'm okay.. I still think things kinda suck, but c'est la vie.. Anyways, I guess I should go now.. catch everybody laters post comment

[13 Apr 2004|05:59pm] I went on a hike today.. in the rain.. In Wells Hill Park. I went and climbed the waterfall there. I took pictures with my camera phone and put them on my album. There's 3 of them. Just check on the yahoo site post comment

sometimes.. [03 Apr 2004|03:18pm] Sometimes things just stink.. and then sometimes they don't.. Kinda just makes you think..From everything I've ever conceived from time travel.. from the HG Wells classic to the episode of Richie Rich.. the temple paradox is an amazing thing. It completely destroys every dream or desire to change the past.. And oddly enough, if you always think of the temple paradox in the past, you can never get anywhere.. You're always looking at where you came from. And to many people, where you came is half the battle.. (or for our sweedish friends, heif the battle) but the neat thing about temple paradox is it can be applied to how things are now.. the direction of everything.. an anticipation of you looking at yourself from the future.. screaming the desired will of your elder self. I suck at chess.. In chess I always thought of myself as thinking 2 moves ahead and being 1 behind. This would give me an inflated ego as after winning every chess game I've played against a human, realizing that maybe 1 move behind is better than 2. And that maybe my opponent was still kicking themselves for 1 move back.. and being even farther behind. But life isn't a chess game.. Thank God. So I was sitting here.. thinking.. amazingly enough. Maybe.. just maybe.. a flawless life isn't possible.. and maybe feeling truly happy isn't a matter of finding out how to always make the right decisions.. or finding answers to questions you have.. but instead, just being happy with the decisions and answers you formulate.. I did something stupid today.. I let myself beat me.. and though I later tried to amend the mess I made, I was shot down.. so I guess with the response I received, it truly is over.. as much as I hate it.. I refuse to attempt to fix my mistakes when they are so bluntly refuted as they were.. its like throwing pennies down a well.. so I guess I'll sit and rot.. and maybe, for once, I'll take my own advice.. --David post comment

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